Breaking free of depression

Victims who blame themselves for the sexual abuse they suffer can become psychologically and emotionally exhausted and create a huge obstacle to their own healing from the trauma.

Babalwa blamed herself after she was sexually abused and impregnated by someone she knew and trusted in 1998.

In the same year that she was raped, Babalwa started dating a man whom she married. At that time, she did not know that she was already pregnant from the rape.

“I only learnt this 14 years later when we were divorcing. He refused to support us and I took him to court. Paternity tests were conducted and proved that the child was not his.

The news left me a broken woman. I lost hope in life and ended up losing my job. I was admitted to a mental hospital for depression. I asked myself, how am I supposed to deal with this anger and violation of self? I reacted with hate, bitterness, fear, insecurity and confusion. I couldn’t say the word rape, I harboured resentment. I was humiliated and infuriated. I told the nurses that I was not mentally sick and there was no need for me to be there.

To make matters worse, my son did not take the news well. He started using cocaine and all sorts of drugs,” said Babalwa

According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), depression is an illness, as real and serious as heart disease or cancer.

“Because I was unable to deal with my situation, I ended up going to Groote Schuur for treatment, but after some time I stopped when I thought I had dealt with my emotional pain. The situation got worse because I kept this problem a secret. I was later admitted to a mental institution and spent five months there.

I revolted against this situation and took part in the Self Awareness meetings every Tuesday. In one of the meetings I realised I had not dealt with my anger. I decided to open up about my past and forgive my attacker. I understood the only way to free myself from my situation was to look him in the eye and tell him I forgave him for what he had done to me.

I now have immeasurable peace within me. I would really like to encourage everyone who has internal issues to start attending the Self Awareness meetings as these will help them discover all the hidden agendas within their hearts,” said Babalwa.

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49 thoughts on “Breaking free of depression

  1. 30 de May de 2017 at 11:19

    very strong testimony and amen God is good.

  2. Anna shetunyenga
    30 de May de 2017 at 11:22

    This is very strong God is able to help but only when we are open to him and make adeccision to let go off the past.

  3. Makhubo Masebina
    30 de May de 2017 at 12:32

    When we keep something that hurt us in our heart,we can not be free from the situation we need to open up the past and allow God to deal with the situation,we also need to forgive ourselves first and seek God’s guidance.

  4. Asiimwe Winfred
    30 de May de 2017 at 12:38

    Thanks for sharing that strong testimony. That’s why we should not kee negative secrets, which at end the of it all will result into problems.

  5. Bevelyn Kabajwisa
    30 de May de 2017 at 13:39

    Great testimony when we free ourselves from all resentment the HolySpirit takes over our lives with peace,joy,happiness,Love that you have not experienced before all that…Amen

  6. mokhachane ntshadi
    30 de May de 2017 at 15:18

    Thank you for sharing your testimony. You are strong and courageous, you never let your life to be a life of lies. You were able to move on from your past.

  7. 30 de May de 2017 at 15:41

    Amen, wonderful to hear Babalwa, that you finally got free because unforgiveness is one of the worst disease that has no one else cure it for us but ourselves and it kills many.God bless you.

  8. 30 de May de 2017 at 15:56

    Unless we forgive and forget whatever bad thing that happened to us in our past,we will never have peace in our present.

  9. 30 de May de 2017 at 16:21

    So great dear,its when we accept to break the silence is when we get free for God to intervene in our lives.if you had not spoken out,this situation could consume and tie up your life forever but thanks be to the Almighty God for your deliverance and for the self-help meetings!!be blessed.

  10. Nikki Karitas Goodluck
    30 de May de 2017 at 19:18

    The greatest strength lies right inside of us.Everyone surely has the unseen power to recollect the broken pieces of life and move on once again.

  11. 31 de May de 2017 at 8:54

    The more we hold unto the past the more we suffer, and we can never realize the and goodness that the Lord Jesus has for us, but when we decide to follow and surrender our all to God his glory shine upon our lives.

  12. 31 de May de 2017 at 8:57

    Those who trust their all to God never fails , keep going he is the solution, Amen

  13. 31 de May de 2017 at 9:00

    God shower, rebuilds, transforms and above all He makes all things new when we believe and surrender it all to Him.

  14. 31 de May de 2017 at 9:06

    when a person needs to see change in their lives, in what ever striation she may be facing the first thing she needs is to be revolted about the striation and for sure God will show you the way out.

  15. 31 de May de 2017 at 12:43

    Oh my, I must say that what she was go in is basically more or less the same thing that most women go through but through my own experience i can say that the one enemy to such an experience is not what happened but how we choose to view it. Don’t get me wrong but in most cases the enemy I within us, the one that does not want to forgive, the one that turns the whole situation into something we can learn to live with.

    Keeping quiet and finding ways to avoid even calling it by name breeds ignorance and denial. We need to learn to forgive ourselve, confront the person with the intention to forgive (like she eventually did) and take back the power that was wrongfully ripped from us at that incident.

    I commend her for her bravery and courage for forgiving her perpetrator and being able to Nov on from this traumatic experience.

    31 de May de 2017 at 13:01

    This testimony is very strong considering the fact that i also went through almost the same situation, after i was sexually abused i kept it to myself because i thought i did something and he was displining me,i was 8 years old when it happened, then i grew up bitter, and very emotional, i even felt empty and unloved, i carried so much hate in me and fear, i attempted to commit suiside three times, until five years later i wrotemy mother a note telling her everything the warmth of her embrace after reading the letter made me feel safe from then on i learned to be more open and GOD finally gave me rest. i never talk about it because i feel in order to forget i must not talk about it. reading this testimony makes me wanna share as well, perhaps help others.

  17. kabanyankole Grace
    31 de May de 2017 at 13:41

    In a moment of despair God is closer to us, so through our humbleness, his forgiveness brings joy, peace, happiness and we break free. Amen

  18. Nthabiseng Dhlamini
    31 de May de 2017 at 13:50

    Try strong testimony thank you for sharing

  19. 31 de May de 2017 at 17:52

    Strong testimony and I have learn God never leaves us alone .we just need to depend on him.

  20. 31 de May de 2017 at 18:17

    Many things happen to us and they stick to our hearts and they grow within us and they can cause diseases… It good for us that we have the self help meetings to help us.

  21. Elizabeth Mbao
    31 de May de 2017 at 18:24

    Many things happen to us and they stick to our hearts and they grow within us and can cause diseases…. It is good that we have the self help meetings to help us.

  22. 31 de May de 2017 at 18:50

    Grace à Dieu.. C’est pour cela qu’on devrait y sacrifier pour acceder au godlywood.. L’avantage est pour nous..

  23. Patricia Ntsane
    1 de June de 2017 at 23:36

    Wow! This is the great testimony and I believe many women are being helped through it

  24. 3 de June de 2017 at 13:07

    Glory to all might God who gave us life. And we must thank him for that’s. We really need to surrender our lives to God. This is very important for us to give our lives to him forever

  25. 3 de June de 2017 at 13:14

    Its all thanks to God because he will forever stand besides us through all troubles we go in our lives.

  26. 5 de June de 2017 at 7:42

    Thank you for sharing. God is truly amazing and there is nothing that is impossible with Him. Self- Awareness course is the best step to overcome all hidden things and our past. It will help you to accept your past and to mold you into a strong woman so you focus on the bright future that God has for you. Join the course if you want to overcome your past, bitterness, anger etc.

  27. 5 de June de 2017 at 18:11

    The only way to be in peace is to take off what is making us feeling so embarrassed.
    I approved what she said and can say that its the only way for happiness

  28. 9 de June de 2017 at 7:53

    Je retiens de ce témoignage que pardonner à ceux qui nous ont fait du mal est nécessaire pour notre paix intérieure et notre communion avec DIEU.

  29. Linea Shikale
    11 de June de 2017 at 7:08

    I would like to quote on something in this testimony, ”The situation got worse because I kept this problem a secret.” Growing up I was not an emotional person, I cared about nothing really. something bad would happen and would take it lightly, I wouldn’t have a second thought about anything bad happening, bad news would pass without me reacting. As I started taking my faith in God seriously I realized that pain has been buried deep inside my heart, it has been piling up, and thanks to God I did not explode. We all have to learn to open up to somebody, don’t keep things to yourself when you know right inside its burning you.

  30. 11 de June de 2017 at 13:55

    what a good testimony that opens many peoples eyes to break free from the silence in their lives

  31. 14 de June de 2017 at 16:09

    Pardonner na pas une chose facile mais cela est néssessaire pour notre communion avec dieu

  32. Atang Masilo
    14 de June de 2017 at 19:46

    Thank you a lot for sharing, it is true that in order to move forward we must shake off the dust of the past and embrace our new selves, which is exactly what the Godllywood self awareness course help us with.

  33. Josephine Naiseku
    15 de June de 2017 at 18:10

    Hi it true you must put your self to forget the past.

  34. Mildred Andisi
    16 de June de 2017 at 10:47

    Amen. God heals for sure from all manner of conditions. Thanks to Self Awareness Course. Thanks to UCKG.

  35. 19 de June de 2017 at 21:07

    Thank you for sharing. It is true the inner-healing only happen when we open up and let go of the past. It is not easy to forgive but it it health. I can’t wait to join the Self Awareness course.

  36. Juliette Ouedraogo
    21 de June de 2017 at 15:37

    Les situations que nous traversons nous permettent de savoir qu’il a un Dieu qui existe et qui prend soin de nous.

  37. 22 de June de 2017 at 11:32

    the testimony teaches a lot and shows that people should always trust in god for everything he can deliver you,tell god your problems pray daily for his protection and from satans destruction ,avoid hiding your problems from god and other people who may assist you to break free from depression.Amen thanks for the testimony

  38. Mohlape kgeko Johannah
    23 de June de 2017 at 21:11

    Thanks for sharing with us this strong testimony,every with God is possible.Amen.

  39. Kgeko Mohlape
    25 de June de 2017 at 12:44

    Very true, when we open up,God works.

  40. 9 de July de 2017 at 12:23

    C’est très fort mais les personnes qui on eu se problèmes la doit se confiée a Dieu par ce que sans lui nous ne somme rien et aussi participe a la réunion de godllywood qui Dieu nous fortifié

  41. 9 de July de 2017 at 18:56

    selon moi nous devons par garde des pense negatif dans notre passe ou les douleur passe dans notre vie et toujours pardonne

  42. alice dje lou
    9 de July de 2017 at 19:48

    j’ai compris que que peu importe ce que nous avons traverser nous devons pardonner et aller de l’avant avec Jésus.

  43. 11 de July de 2017 at 14:03

    Merci de laisser ce temoignage tres fort ; cest pouquoi nous devons pas garder les secrets mauvais qui finirons par nous detruire mais au contraire savoir que DiEU est amôur et que nous devons aussi pardonner les autres.

  44. kaino m hangula
    18 de July de 2017 at 3:58

    very strong , now look what the mind of crust say,s our faight is with fresh and blood but evil spirit and forces of darkness, human beings a more likely to be possessed a spirit , and if the spirit possessing that person is evil then that person will do evil, and if we understand this it will be easy to forgive one another .

  45. olele estelle
    6 de August de 2017 at 5:21

    A travers ce témoignage,j’ai compris que malgré tous les situations que nous avons traversé,nous devons pardonné et laisser le passé dèrrière nous pour avancé avec JESUS.

  46. olele estelle
    9 de August de 2017 at 7:55

    Je retiens que pardonner à ceux qui nous sont fait du mal est nécessaire pour notre paix intérieur et surtout apprendre a laisser tout derrière nous afin d’avancer avec Dieu.

  47. 18fa

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