“Silliness, nonsense, so many souls to be won and there they are … a bunch of women wearing pink… but it’s the bishop’s daughter, right? I will not be a part of this!”
Shamefully, I confess that I was the one who used to say these words, loud and clear. Not only was I poisoned, but I also used to poison others.
The problem was that I wasn’t only a member of the church. I was an assistant and leader of a group. My opinion had influence on people and at that time it was a very negative one. I didn’t like the Godllywood group, but I used to follow it and read all the articles about it, only with the intention of criticising it later. I complained about the trips the Sisters had, the work they did and the way they dressed. But even so, I followed every article that came out on Sundays in the church newspaper. I used to read every post Mrs. Cris would write. I would read everything about the group and I would make comments and share my negative views.
Then it happened that God performed the greatest miracle in my life! He made me see how bitter and unhappy I was, how little I loved and valued myself for a number of reasons, including the storms I had weathered throughout my life. I was hiding behind my assistant’s uniform, my title, the compliments I received for my efficiency in working in the church and my competence in doing everything… Outwardly I was a very good assistant… after all the “rottenness” inside takes time to show on the outside. I carried on with that evil inside me, looking at the work of Godllywood, not as it was, but as I was inside … dirty, resentful and poisoned. But who can see inside you, if not God? Who can have such mercy as He has?
And He loved me!
He loved me despite my shortcomings. He loved me in spite of what I did against His Work… And He “forced” me to change my story. In each post I read, hidden from everybody’s eyes so I wouldn’t “tarnish” my image, He was talking to me. He unmasked me… showed me who I really was and stripped me of my rottenness inside. And the worst thing about it was that He would show it only to me… and it hurt… but in that pain I found my healing.
One day I had to ask to be transferred to serve as an assistant in a much smaller church. In such a church, everything is more visible to everyone. Once there, I met the pastor’s wife and to my “sad” surprise: She was a Sister!!! She would talk about Godllywood, hold meetings and “summon” me to attend them. Since I was still that assistant who helped in everything in the church, I attended, of course! After all I had my reputation of excellent assistant to maintain, didn’t I?!
So the change started! My restoration began…
One day that same pastor’s wife came to me with a letter in hand, a big smile and a happy face saying: “Registrations for Godllywood have begun. Take this letter and go register!” At that moment the floor disappeared from under me, but it was then that I began to live…
I registered only to be obedient and was accepted… I started the Rush and at the end of nearly a year the result came: I had made it!!! I was in Godllywood!!!
Today it’s been almost three years since I joined the group. I can’t see myself anywhere else or doing anything different.
The first thing that Godllywood did for me was to make me see who I was.
I was someone who had been hurt at being abandoned by her husband, who was unhappy, always felt small, worthless, living just to live, doing everything not to have time to face the fact that in reality, I was nothing…
The group led me to confront my inner self. It taught me to value myself, to put me first and to see that everything must be for the glory of God and not me. The group taught me that to be happy, I didn’t need people, I needed God and to be well within myself.
I used to be tomboyish, used to wear baggy clothes and baseball caps all the time; I always wanted to “compete”, to show that “I was better”. I lost count of how many times I said: “I’ve yet to see a man doing something that I can’t do better!”
Now I see how inappropriate and selfish that approach was.
Today I am happy! Happy to be a woman…
I don’t wish to compete with any man. I know my place and I love being in it!
I am grateful every day for Mrs Cris’s life. I thank Mrs Priscila Santos, who led me to join the group and each Sister who accompanies me to this day.
I say all this because I know that unfortunately there are still people who think the way I used to. I hope that by reading this they will realise that the problem is much bigger, that it is within them and not in the group.
I hope you will give yourselves the chance to get to know Godllywood and thus be able to grow, improve and mature, not for others but for yourself.
Valeria – Godllywood Brazil