I was afraid to be among people I did not know

I became shy and developed fear of men after I was sexually violated by a stranger at the age of 19. That fear grew to an extent that I was afraid to be among people I did not know.

The incident left me emotional and broken. I did not want to be involved in anything that needed me to engage with other people, even in the church. I avoided joining any groups and preferred to keep to myself. I was so insecure that I even hated the way I looked. I only thought about the bad things that people said about me. It was almost like I found comfort in crying or in the pain.

In the church, I took part in the chain of prayers of Fridays and ask God to deliver me from fear. I was then able to open up about my ordeal and I shared it with a pastor’s wife who offered me counselling.

She also advised me to take part in the self-awareness course in the church. I was then able to put my past behind.

A complete change came when I decided to join the GW group. In the beginning I still felt insecure. I felt like I did not belong. But four months after joining, I experienced a breakthrough. I started opening up. I warmed up to the other ladies and even felt comfortable enough to speak during the meetings.

Then I formed friendships in the group. I have a best friend, something I had never had before. I was then given a personal task to forgive my perpetrator because I still held grudges against him even though I did not know him.

I realised that what happened to me cannot define who I am. With the tasks, I became closer to God and started understanding the word of God as never before. I made God the priority in my life.

I developed a change of attitude and now when people say I am beautiful, I believe it because It’s not only from the outside and I know it’s from within. I feel so light and free. I’m no longer trying to hide. I feel confident again.

I joined the evangelism group. I’m a BSC teacher. The insecurities are gone. At work my superiors used to say I was a ‘closed book’ that they didn’t understand. Now in this year they have started saying I have changed, that they trust me and feel free to give me more responsibility and my colleagues feel comfortable to let me lead our group.

Ntebaleng Tau



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16 thoughts on “I was afraid to be among people I did not know

  1. Celestine Atolwa
    30 de July de 2017 at 5:35

    Thanks Tau for sharing with us your testimony.
    It is an inspiration for sure.

  2. Patience
    31 de July de 2017 at 14:58

    That is very strong, I thank God for your new life Ntabaleng. May God bless you more and use your testimony to help other people who are facing what you went through.

  3. 2 de August de 2017 at 4:40

    Its true that the past and the mistakes done do not define who we are now
    And i also agree that the beauty coming from inside is much more than clothes and make up. It is the Holy Spirit working in us for us to be nearer to God. And this process a miracle and the true beauty

  4. 2 de August de 2017 at 9:59

    Merci chère soeur pour ton témoignage. Bravo à toi d’avoir pardonné à l’auteur du viol. Que DIEU continue de faire de toi une femme nouvelle et meilleure.

  5. Mercy Mshanga
    8 de August de 2017 at 16:41

    thank you for sharing

  6. Lira maculuve
    8 de August de 2017 at 18:31

    I have been true this situation but in the church I asked God to deliverance and today I am a free person

  7. Mathapelo
    8 de August de 2017 at 18:57

    Thank you my dear for sharing your experience with God .God bless you

  8. 9 de August de 2017 at 8:59

    Amen! Thanks God for a transforming your life, this very strong. Keep the faith.

  9. 10 de August de 2017 at 7:50

    wow that’s great, thank you for sharing and opening up. now many who went through the same experience know the secret to total deliverance

  10. nguessan
    21 de August de 2017 at 15:05

    Je remercie le seigneur pour ce témoignage car sa ma beaucoup aider

  11. 22 de August de 2017 at 4:22

    He said came to me all who a heavy burden and HE promise to give to as rest, and HE is fulfilling this promise every day dear, praise be to HIM

  12. 23 de August de 2017 at 11:01

    Merci de partagé avec nous votre passé. que Dieu à transformé qu’à cela peut aidé d’autre soeur qui ont traversé se même problèmes à se débarrassé de se cala et de n’être de nouveau à fin d’être un enfants de Dieu

  13. Bongiwe
    23 de August de 2017 at 15:07

    May God blessed all the woman in this month in Jesus Name Amen.

  14. 26 de August de 2017 at 2:53

    Dieu merci pour son changement de vie, parce que souvent si nous laissons le passé avoir de l’emprise sur nous c’est comme si nous sommes sur la domination du diable. Quelque soit la taille du problème nous devons lutter pour nous relever pour aller de l’avant.

  15. phumelela getyengana
    28 de August de 2017 at 9:35

    touch experiences , The lady its like she is telling my story ,I myself find comfort when iam alone. even right now # i need help.

  16. 29 de August de 2017 at 23:07

    Cette Jeune dame avait peur d’être parmi des gens qu’elle ne connait pas. Pour cela elle ne voulait pas être impliqué dans tous ce qui l’entourait. Elle a même participé à la chaine des prières des Vendredis pour chercher sa délivrance. Elle a prit la decision de s’ouvrir, pour cela elle s’est approché d’une épouse (femme de pasteur) qui lui a conseillé de participer au cours de conscience de soi dans l’église. Au fur et à mesure elle a enterré son passé et s’est même intégré dans le groupe de l’église. Car elle s’est rendu compte que ce qui lui est arrivé ne peut définir qui elle est.
    Alors nous devons apprendre à vivre selon le présent et non dans le passé.

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